


The world has gone mad today.

by Metas



Series: T'aint nobody's business if I do [5]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Dancing and Singing, F/F, F/M, Gen, Musical References, One Shot, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 00:14:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21437020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metas/pseuds/Metas
Summary: “Maybe he’s right”Both Charlie and Angel turn to her speaking at the same time“He’s what?”“I’m what? I mean, Of course I am!”
Relationships: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) & Mimzy (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)/Mimzy (Hazbin Hotel) (assumed), Charlie Magne (Hazbin Hotel) & Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne (Hazbin Hotel) /Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel)
Series: T'aint nobody's business if I do [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542289
Comments: 9
Kudos: 150





	The world has gone mad today.

This had to be some kind of insane cosmic joke. Vaggie looks across the booth at her girlfriend, who‘ s still looking up at the stage, with a bewildered look of her own written across her face. There’s no way this could possibly be happening; Of all the times, of all the places when he could have shown up this was the last she would have ever even considered. The roar of cheers and clapping as the tall demon ascends the stage, following after a portly shorter woman with platinum blonde hair wearing a maroon gatsby style dress with gloves that reach up past her elbows, is deafening. He’s dressed sharply to match his partner in a tuxedo with a maroon jacket, over white dress shirt and black pants to match white spats over black shoes. The spot light follows their every move until they reach the center stage where two mic stands are, each grabbing their own as the woman motions for the crowd to quiet; her voice, a sultry mid-Atlantic lilt. 

“Evenin’ all you sinners out there! Are you all havin’ a good time? Lemme hear it!”

Cheers and whistles answer her and she smiles wide as the band begins to open with a few of notes of piano and drumbeats that rise and repeat.

“Well all right! As you all already know, I’m Mimzy and I want to welcome you all back to my club down in the heart of hell, Pentagram City! Joining me for tonight’s entertainment is my own personal boy toy, The Radio Demon Himself, Alastor!”

There’s more cheers all around and Vaggie looks in disbelief into the dark of the club trying figure out who in their right mind would be crazy enough to cheer, having such a dangerous demon in any proximity to them. She can’t help but feel that coming here was turning out to be a big mistake and she’s actively trying to find away they’ll be able to escape the club quickly without being seen; The night had started out so well.

“Yeah, you heard me right! My man’s ready to show off his skills just like all those years ago! But don’t you boys and gals turn tail just yet! Because...”

Mimzy steps forward, her voice raising as she strikes a pose, hand waving out as she seamlessly slips right into the first words of the song, bass flowing in while the piano changes tone to a more tense tune.

_“Times have changed and we’ve often rewound the clock_  
_Since the Puritans took a shock!_  
_When they landed on plymouth rock!”_

Mimzy extends her hand out to Alastor who takes it in his with a small bow, making a show out of giving it a chaste kiss that causes the audience to hoot and whistle as he begins to sing into the mic, the sound of his radio voice coming through loud and clear. 

_“If!_  
_Today!_  
_Any shock they should try to stem.”_

The red demon moves out of the bow, releasing Mimzy’s hand turning dramatically towards the crowd with his stance wide and an arm spread out behind him, eyes half lidded and mouth stretched in its customary grin as the music lulls.

_“'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,  
Plymouth Rock would land on them!”_

His eyes flicker over the crowd and pause; The pair swears he’s looking straight at them. 

Vaggie slumps back against the somewhat lumpy but soft cushioned seat of the couch, thinking over the last couple days the hotel had just gone through, not that she isn’t happy things are actually working out but everything’s just becoming overwhelming lately and she hasn’t felt like she’s been able to really unwind in a long time. 

It’s not like she can, what with not only overseeing the patrons “treatment” but the staff members who seem to be just as bad as the clientele in their vices. She’s just about one more argument about “attracting sinners with not-so-free handjobs” away from breaking her own convictions and ordering a hard drink from their “Reception Desk”. Turning her gaze to the side, she see’s the blonde next to her is in a similar state, laying longways on the three seater couch with a pillow over her face as she groans into it.

Charlie and she haven’t had a moment together, outside of colliding with their shared bed at the end of each day and falling into a dead sleep until the next morning. Where Vaggie keeps the inner workings of the hotel going, Charlie has been the face of it; Keeping the flow of sinners happy, resolving surface level disputes and issues between tenants. Charlie’s got as much on her plate as Vaggie does. Though the blonde’s not necessarily been alone on her front, Vaggie admits with a furrowing brow.

Their mysterious sponsor has been making suspiciously large efforts to actually help around, in his sporadic uncontrollable way. It’s not that he’ll get in the way, but the things he does seem solely for his own “entertainment”; No real rhyme or reason she can discern from his actions. She knows there’s a motive there though, men like Alastor always have one.

“Vaggie, I’m dying”

“We’re in hell already, hun”

Charlie removes the pillow from her face looking at the ceiling of their hotel’s sitting area lamely, hair bunching around her head in a golden halo.

“Think we could take a vacation?”

Vaggie leans over, until they’re making eye contact, Vaggie’s hair cascading over her shoulder and obscuring the blondes view of the rest of the room, giving an affectionate look at her.

“Think the hotel would still be standing when we come back?”

Charlie rolls her eyes with a tired smile, gazing back up with affection to match her. The look makes Vaggie’s heart thrum in her chest.

“If we come back.”

Now it’s Vaggie’s turn to roll her eyes as she pulls back, leaning back into a slumped position against the couch. Vaggie knows Charlie is joking but she’s not going to lie to herself that she doesn’t want to just get away for a while, even just for an evening. The click of heels on the carpeted floor alert both of them to a new occupant, neither of them looking up knowing only one person in the entire hotel so far actually wears heels, charlie wordlessly bends her knees up making room. 

Angel Dust takes up the offered spot, lollipop hanging in from his lips slinging his free upper arm over the arm rest, lower arms crossing in front of him; he crosses one long leg over the other while looking the two over from his position. One hand reaches up pulling the sucker out with a loud Pop as he turns his head to address them.

“You two look like shit”

The blunt admission is met with a tired glare from Vaggie making Angel raise his lower two hands in a placating gesture though the grin he returns is anything but.

“Not that it’s a bad look, but it’s a pretty bad look. You look...”

Vaggie’s ire rises immediately and she cuts him off, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger in annoyance.

“Just stop talking before I hurt you.”

Charlie, ever the voice of diplomacy speaks up without moving from her spot. It shows how tired the woman actually is that she’s not making the effort to talk to him face to face like she normally would.

“We’re just tired Angel, It’s been a long couple of days. We’ll be back to normal by tomorrow for sure.”

The admission rings hollow to Vaggie and apparently, as she looks at the spider’s apologetic look, it does to Angel too. So it’s only almost a surprise when Angel puts a hand on the blonde’s leg with a gentle look.

“Sounds like you two could use some time off, tootz”

Vaggie’s lips quirk in skepticism at the spider, leaning forward to give him a flat look because he hasn’t ever shown this much care without wanting something in return or if he was up to something.

“Only if we want the hotel to burn down the moment we leave”

Angel waves off her concern with the hand holding the sucker, plopping the sweet treat back into his mouth while he makes his case.

“It’ll be fine. How about this, You two take tomorrow night off, go out to a nice club; Dress fancy, get drunk, have your merry way with each other under the table while no one’s watchin’ You know, live a little! Meanwhile, I’ll stay here and make sure your flock of sheep don’t die out over night”

Vaggie vehemently ignores the blatant provocation, hand coming up to cover her face at how much of a bad idea it is.

“We’re not going to entrust the safety of the hotel and the people inside of it to you, Angel”

Angel takes an offended stance, pulling the lollipop from his mouth once more, a free hand splayed over his chest fluff dramatically.

“And why not? I’ve been good haven’t I? Been sober for at least three months now!”

Vaggie’s hand drops and she levels a glare at him to which he amends

“Okay, one month, but the point of what I’m trying to say is that it sounds like you two could really take a night out on the town! Let your hair down! Relax!”

“That isn’t going to happen, not with how much chaos goes on here daily and especially not when we have a blood-thirsty radio monster just walking around the place doing who knows what.”

Angel looks back at her over charlie, one hand still on the girl’s leg, turning the sucker to the side holding it in a loose grip. He’s giving her a bewildered look like she’s just said something dumb.

“If Al’s a problem he ain’t gonna be around tomorrow night.”

Vaggie gives him a scrutinizing squint to which he juts his chin to charlie who’s also looking at her upside down with a curious gaze, speaking up when Vaggie makes eye contact with her with a questioning look.

“Alastor said he wouldn't be around tomorrow, said he had some 'business that needed attending to' .”

At that Vaggie blinks. She’d never been invested in the Radio Demon enough to get familiar with his comings and goings, her schedule usually filling up with things going wrong in the hotel to notice. Frowning, Vaggie focuses back on Angel who’s gone back to sucking on the lollipop, suggestively now.

“Do you know where he's going? Or what he’s doing?”

Charlie shakes her head in negative while Angel shrugs his shoulders, crossing his lower arms across his fluff again, a thoughtful look crossing his face. 

“I mean, the guy’s not really the sharing type when it’s his personal business.”

Shaking his head Angel looks back to her refocusing and pointing the lollipop directly at her.

“But that’s not the point, He’s not gonna be here so c’mon and trust me! It’ll be fine!”

Vaggie levels an unconvinced look with the spider, her resolve slightly breaking down at the thought of a free night just charlie and her, no hotel, no sinners, no radio demon. She throws up a last defense, still not fully on board with the idea.

“What’s in it for you? How do we know you’re not just gonna go and … I don’t know, bring some drugs in or have a gangbang? Or both?”

This time Angel does look offended, sitting up on his side of the chair glaring at the white haired girl.

“Hey! I’m a man of my word these days! And besides it’s me doing a solid for one of my gal pals, she can trust me, scouts honor!”

Vaggie sits back eyeing him, maybe she’s a little bit convinced, but she wont out right say it willingly.

“You were never in the scouts.”

“No, but one’s been in me.”

His smile is filthy but before she can even let out a sigh or quip charlie sits up giving angel a tired, but full, smile. 

“I really appreciate the offer Angel, but Vaggie’s right there’s still a lot of work to be done and we can’t just drop everything.”

Angel rolls his head exaggeratedly in exasperation trying to convince Charlie while the blonde tries to placate and deny him. Vaggie looks at Charlie’s interaction noting that the girl does look worn, less vibrant than she did before the project officially began. It didn’t look right to her, not to see her usual exuberant self, her genuine happy smile bright enough to light a pitch black room. She’s usually the one trying to keep them on track but right now looking at Charlie, Vaggie can’t help but think a well deserved break is in order.

“Maybe he’s right”

Both Charlie and Angel turn to her speaking at the same time

“He’s what?”

“I’m what? I mean, Of course I am!”

Vaggie gives him a look telling him it’s not helping his case but she focuses back on charlie grabbing her by the shoulders.

“I said maybe it’s a good idea if we just take a night out to ourselves, recharge our batteries, It’s not like we don’t deserve one.”

Charlie looks unsure about it but there’s a hopeful sparkle in her eye now and it urges Vaggie to continue; The princess wouldn’t out right admit this but she really needed it, both of them did.

“Come on, hun, we’ll probably never get a good chance like this one for a while. If angel says he can handle the hotel for one night, then maybe he can.”

She looks up to Angel behind Charlie seeing he’s giving her four thumbs up and a million watt grin; Inside she’s starting to believe less and less in that statement by the second. Charlie worries her gaze on the floor, mouth in pursed in uncertainty before looking up hopefully with a smile.

The club is classy and high brow, the but the style was clearly vintage; The flourescent sign above the door that says “Mimzy’s” blinks in alternating lights is a little intimidating while both girls walk past the massive line directly to the door. Vaggie feels completely out of place next to Charlie who’s clearly far more used to this kind of venue than she is, being a princess of hell and all. The music is being played by a live band on a large stage like one of those old 30 club halls, which actually this probably is now that she thinks about it. They came here on Angel Dust’s recommendation and managed to get a reservation with Charlie’s royal connections, as far as Vaggie was concerned she was just along for the ride.

The look in the blonde’s eye was ecstatic at seeing the clamor of people in the large hall; Drinking, dancing, and having an overall good time. Vaggie’s a little surprised, the place looks smartly decorated in old fashion no visible damage anywhere through out, in any other club, a brawl would have broken out causing some collateral damage, but the place looks immaculate and everyone seems to be keeping themselves in line. It almost feels like a normal club by earth’s standards. 

When angel said the owner of the club was a great singer in the way of old jazz and swing, Charlie had lit up like a Christmas tree. She’d always had a passion for the vintage stuff which never really was her style but she wasn’t going to complain about the smile it brought to her girlfriend’s face. She could learn to love anything for charlie. They were seated at booth not too far from the stage where they ordered some drinks and settled in to finally relax and enjoy their night.

Vaggie catches Charlie’s eye reaching across the table, taking the other woman’s in hers as the lights begin to dim. She can practically see the energy buzzing off Charlie as she’s waits for the entertainment to begin. An unseen announcer speaks over the speakers.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! Please welcome to the stage, the proprietress of our little club, The One! The Only! Mimzy!”

Vaggie looks towards the stage as a portly woman in a maroon dress with gloves that reach up past her elbows steps on stage to cheers, what she sees following after her though shocks her to the bone, so much so that she doesn’t feel the hand in hers grip back just as tight as her own unintentionally did.

Alastor’s calm smile doesn’t change in the slightest as the music goes from tense to light and playful, lifting one pant leg up slightly, shifting it out towards the crowd causing some to laugh.

_“In olden days, a glimpse of stocking_  
_Was looked on as something shocking!_  
_But now, heaven knows!”_

The radio demon straightens up shrugging with a nonchalant air, a slight head tilt with his eyes to the side. It’s all practiced with no clumsy movements like he’s done it enough times that he has no qualms about being the butt of the joke.

_“Anything goes!”_

Vaggie’s looking at the Radio Demon up on stage, unable to come to terms with what she’s seeing and the stories she’s heard. It’s all a bit surreal seeing him like this; knowing who he is, what he’s done and what he could do. Alastor turns back towards Mimzy who turns to him at the same time and begins to stalk toward the man, taking the song over. Alastor takes a small step back each time she takes a step toward him in time with the beat, her free hand drawing a heart in mid air as she approaches faster than he can escape.

_“Good authors, too, who once knew better words_  
_now only use four-letter words!_  
_Writing prose!”_

With a yank the smaller woman draws him close to her singing into his face.

_“Anything goes.”_

A shove sends him back up, but not stumbling as Mimzy takes a step back away from him to create distance. Alastor starts to prowl around towards the shorter woman and she doesn’t realize she’s staring until she feels the hand on hers squeeze again, gently this time. Vaggie tears her gaze away from the show to Charlie who smiling again, looking giddily between the stage and her, she’s got that look in her eye she gets when she sees something she thinks is outrageously cute.

“Oh my goodness! Vaggie this is amazing!”

_“The world’s has gone mad today and good’s bad today_  
_and black’s white today and day’s night today_  
_and most guys today, that women prize today are just silly gigolos”_

Vaggie gives a soft smile and looks back up to the performance as Alastor steps out from behind Mimzy, taking her hand in his and dropping to one knee, raising it into the air as he sings. His voice is gentle, the look in his eye infinitely more, more than she would have ever expected it could be. It’s a look she’d never seen on him before, a look she’d bet not a lot of people would ever get to see directed at them.

_“So though I’m not a great romancer,_  
_I know that you’re bound to answer_  
_When I propose!”_

The two on stage look at each other smiling with affection as they share the words between just the two of them, like the crowd around them has disappeared and they’re in their own little world; Vaggie can’t seem to find the demon who had been her personal boogie man since he’d walked into their lives. She knows he’s there but right now it’s like she’s looking at someone different, not a monster looking for shits and giggles at the expense of others.

“It’s...”

_“Anything Goes”_

Just a man in love. 

“… Okay”

They don’t see him for the rest of the night and they may or may not take it for a blessing that he doesn’t approach them after. Coming home however they come to a stop when upon opening the door to the hotel there’s the sound of a piano coming through the main foyer with a familiar song, though very different, it’s much to snarky but it’s the same song. Alastor sits there at the reception desk alone, staring into a drink filled tumbler smile ever present; he’s still wearing the tux from the club. Looking up, the Radio Demon nods his head to them.

“Good evening Ladies! Took a night out on the town I see! Splendid! Everyone deserves some good ol’ RnR now and again, Yes sir!”

Charlie, sweet girl she is, doesn’t have an ounce of self preservation as she immediately walks over with stars in her eyes, bouncing in place across from him at the desk.

“Alastor! I loved the show! It was so sweet and cute and oh my gosh!”

The room is completely silent save for the music the red demon is still emitting as he looks at the blonde, smile still in place. Though now the smile looks a little strained while Alastor plays with the glass of alcohol in his hand, putting it down with a click of glass on wood.

_“Just think of those shocks you've got and those knocks you've got_  
_And those blues you've got from that news you've got_  
_And those pains you've got, If any brains you've got_  
_From those little radios.”_

“My dear… I haven’t the slightest idea what you could be talking about”

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Anything Goes  
Singer: Cole Porter/Ella Fitsgerald


End file.
